Dark Cravings.....

There is a hunger, an aching void that demands to be filled, a desire that is all consuming... I want, I need, I crave, I ache. At times it seems I cannot get enough.

I can't explain it. It's intense, ferocious, savage, out of control. It's the spark that becomes an inferno and devours everything in its path. It is my worst enemy, yet it is a comfortable friend. I am used to it, but I am terrified of it. It is a raw energy. It's something within me, it is me.

It manifests in my dreams, leaving me to wake up drained. It runs through me just as surely as the blood runs through my veins. It sneaks into my thoughts, it dictates my actions. But I can conceal it.

Usually I am the mistress. I am able to hide it, bury it deep within me. I have to restrain it in order to go about my day-to-day business. No one sees it, no one knows it's there. It is content to lurk within, waiting for the moment when I will turn it loose.

But there are times when I am not strong enough to ride out this hunger. There are times I don't want to keep it secret. I let it loose. I surrender to this power. It takes command of me. I find myself shocked by the wanton attitude, the words which slide out of my mouth, the unbridled sensuality in all that I say and do. There is a part of me that is horrified by each and every action. Yet at the same time, I know how much I want this. I know this is also who and what I am. I am nothing but a total Bitch...and I enjoy every second of this passion.

And when this happens, there is only one thing to do, one way to feed this hunger..Let me give the pain. Send me soaring with sensations. Take away my inhibitions. Want to make them beg, whimper, shiver, moan, scream, shake, thrash, reduce them to tears... Use whatever means are necessary. Take me to where I need to go, take me past my limits.

I want to feel it...I need to feel it...I have to feel it. Make it real.