Navel gazing part two.

So yes, talking has actually happened. I am not sure that C realises what he does or doesn't do so doesn't realise what it triggers in my head, so I do tell him but he does look at me as if I have stepped out of another place. Yes, we do things well and we do support each other. I do get that we do have to have more time apart than together, this does work for us.

If this makes sense readers, I need to give myself permission to be me as well. Which is something that I have realised as well. This has not been happening. I don't want to go to extremes but I do now know that I can trust Mc and C to not burn the house down.. Well people that have seen them together know what I mean that sometimes Mc acts older than C. Plus he's no good at mornings as a rule. I get up as I like to have that hour or so with her. Much like I used to do with my Dad when he was up so early in the mornings.

I talked about how people have made me feel. How the treatment has made me feel that I am a person worth of being loved. That I like the attention but it's not too much to make me feel swamped or wanting to run away cos it's just overwhelming. Within that there are things I need to work on with my partners and for the benfit of future people that any of us are involved with. And that's my intial reactions when I find out that someone is interested in someone else. I don't normally voice it as I know it's illogical, but the thought normally crosses my head. That thought is have I done something wrong? It's a conditioned response, it has no place in my head.

I have had been made an offer of a fwb with an old friend. We have flirted, mucked about and had a rather good snog. I am seriously thinking about it. And in the interests of me thinking about things I am just putting this down as the way I see things. I have never entertained a fwb before and I get why it makes sense for people, as it's not a one night stand, it's not as involved as a relationship but at least the support is there on both sides. It also means that if in the same place there is the comfort of both physical and mental needs. Each person gets something that they want and carry on with their lives, again talking, flirting and generally being a good friend. 

There are down sides to things from what I can see. If one or other develops deeper feelings or that one or other gets a partner who does not share. If things spill over it could cause problems, with the friendship, but also a lot of long standing friends that may not quite understand what's going on or for that matter approve. I do believe that I am in a place emotionally that I can manage that. It's a balance and one that will be interesting to say the least. I know both of us are level headed and can see the wood from the trees. And we do enjoy each others company which I do feel is a big deal. Otherwise what on earth do you talk about?