Dreaming......

It rains, and I think of you.



Water, racing across the window, sculpts the shadows that fall across my desk; my fingers trace the changing landscape, following the dark lines, and I remember.

I remember the way the rain tasted on your skin. pressed to your skin on your face. I turned my head upwards to catch the drops of rain as they slid over your skin and onto my waiting lips.

I drank you in.

In my room, I can hear the rain, tapping at the glass of the window, and when I open it, just a crack,the torrential downpour has caused streams of rain on the tarmac outside...

I listen, and I remember.

I remember hearing your heartbeat as I stood, my head resting on your chest, and it sounded like the rain outside, that if we didn't let go, the moment would crash through us, leaving us tangled, the space between us lost.

But we didn't let go. We clung together, eager to drown in each other's heat, our desire turning to ferocious need, our legs and arms clasped tightly; you were no longer simply rain-wet, you were fever-drenched, and I felt you tremble and quake against me.

Eventually the rain passed. And, after I had kissed the rain from your lips, after your fingers had brushed my wet hair back away from my face so that you could see my eyes again, we let go, reluctantly, unsure, just a bit awkward, as we attempted to find our footing alone.

I remember.

But you are not here, now, and I have only the memory of rain, the shadow of rain, to remind me.

Museings......

Why is it that we fear those parts of ourselves we least understand? Why do we let others pre-define how we should feel about certain ideas?

Strength is accepting the freedom we have and finding the distance needed to understand that the voices we listen to all have their own needs and wants; that no matter how kind and well-intentioned they are, no matter how professional and educated they sound, they cannot separate their own desires from the message they carry.

No one can. The voice you most need to listen to is the one hardest to hear. Your own.

Dark Cravings.....

There is a hunger, an aching void that demands to be filled, a desire that is all consuming... I want, I need, I crave, I ache. At times it seems I cannot get enough.

I can't explain it. It's intense, ferocious, savage, out of control. It's the spark that becomes an inferno and devours everything in its path. It is my worst enemy, yet it is a comfortable friend. I am used to it, but I am terrified of it. It is a raw energy. It's something within me, it is me.

It manifests in my dreams, leaving me to wake up drained. It runs through me just as surely as the blood runs through my veins. It sneaks into my thoughts, it dictates my actions. But I can conceal it.

Usually I am the mistress. I am able to hide it, bury it deep within me. I have to restrain it in order to go about my day-to-day business. No one sees it, no one knows it's there. It is content to lurk within, waiting for the moment when I will turn it loose.

But there are times when I am not strong enough to ride out this hunger. There are times I don't want to keep it secret. I let it loose. I surrender to this power. It takes command of me. I find myself shocked by the wanton attitude, the words which slide out of my mouth, the unbridled sensuality in all that I say and do. There is a part of me that is horrified by each and every action. Yet at the same time, I know how much I want this. I know this is also who and what I am. I am nothing but a total Bitch...and I enjoy every second of this passion.

And when this happens, there is only one thing to do, one way to feed this hunger..Let me give the pain. Send me soaring with sensations. Take away my inhibitions. Want to make them beg, whimper, shiver, moan, scream, shake, thrash, reduce them to tears... Use whatever means are necessary. Take me to where I need to go, take me past my limits.

I want to feel it...I need to feel it...I have to feel it. Make it real.

Meme...

I AM.... very different on the inside than a lot of people think, and only a few have been allowed to see.

I SAID.... I would not fix people this year.. so far I am doing pretty well on that.

I WANT.... my self belief to return.

I WISH.... I could just be me, rather than a personality that is made up of triggers that others have left.

I HATE.... nothing.. Hate is wasteful.

I MISS.... my self esteem and confidence.

I FEAR.... losing the ability to think or to write. To being alone. These scare me beyond belief.

I HEAR.... your voice and I melt.

I WONDER.... what people see in me to make them hang around, even love me.

I REGRET.... a lot of my actions when I was living in Penarth, I look back and think wtf?

I AM NOT.... as wordly wise for my age as people think.

I DANCE.... with Annon. Alone. Whenever I can; I love to dance.

I SING....badly and loudly but like the dancing it helps.

I CRY... often. But I believe sincerely that the healing properties of tears are seriously underrated.

I AM NOT ALWAYS.... as confident/strong as people think I am.

I MADE.... my bed, and whatever the consequences, I will lie in it.

I WRITE.... all the time. All of it. But I love to write, so this suits me fine.

I CONFUSE....a lot of people it would seem. I don't mean to.. it just happens.

I NEED.... to believe in myself. Easier said than done.

I SHOULD.... get out and visit more often.

I START.... to think and then I think too much...

I FINISH.... relationships with great difficulty. Relationships of any nature, not merely romantic. And even when one is ended, despite knowing that the person must be ex lover/friend etc for the good of my mental health, it doesn't mean I can forget them or what happened easily. It stays with me for a long time.

I TAG.... no one. Anyone. This is a meme I did for me. For a change

Thought I would share this...

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

Reflections.... Looking at myself..

Slowly coming out of the darkness....
It is always an enlightening thing, to step back away from yourself to analyze what makes you who you are.

You hear bits and pieces of how others perceive you, and you have a perception of yourself, often the two do not match up.


I have heard myself described by others as "wild". I don't think that is correct. I have done some wild things, but, I don't think I am wild. I would think the description would be more accurate as adventurous. I have a good sense of adventure, willing to try just about anything at least once.

When confronted with a new situation, I do not fear the unknown. In fact, I embrace the unknown, anxious to experience something new.

I don't have a problem moving on in life, stepping away from the familiar, parting the overgrown brush and entering uncharted territory. That carefully planned, precisely landscaped yard with flowers planted all in a pretty row is monotonous and boring in my eyes for very long. Give me the wild, overgrown, untamed! I may not be wild myself, but I am excited to the wildside and explore.

I am determined. Presented with a problem, or something I don't grasp, I will work on it until it is solved. I like to understand what lies before me. I will charge head first into it wrestling it to the ground, simply to know what it is that sits before me. I am resourceful, surrounding myself with books, Internet, information in any source. There is so much to know, so much to learn, so much to experience, how could a person possibly ever get bored in this lifetime?

Along with those character descriptions walk side effects.Shyness for one thing, lacking in self confidence another.Things I have dealt with my entire life. As I get older, I learn to work around it, but it still stares me in the face. There is another....

I absolutely thrive on the "new", the unknown, the project unplanned, the problem unsolved, that once I solve it, conquer the challenge, plan the project, I'll move on. If the project is an ever evolving one, new challenges, new territory then I can stick with it. If that person is multi faceted, open minded and willing to embrace life with a passionate energy, then I will remain stimulated. It is the mundane, the stagnant that I choose to walk from.

At times it is a character flaw. Other times it is beneficial. Always, it is me, always it is prevalent.

I am not easily impressed by material possessions signifying a person's "place" in life. This says nothing to me except for the fact that they have money to spend.

Where's your passion? Why IS that your passion? What is the motive for your passions? An inner feeding of the soul, or for an image you want to project. I love passionate people. Breathing in their strong energy, allowing the surge of my own when mixed with theirs, and projecting it back to them. This energy exchange with passionate people, merely wanting to share, not steal the other's energy, it is like none other.

Passion within myself along with the passion within others is wonderful. That is what I look at.

I was given the foundation at a very young age by my mum, of self confidence. She constantly reminded me that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. With simple perseverance and determination, willingness to open your mind to new knowledge and ideas, and making adjustments as needed, just about anything can be accomplished. I had forgotten that lesson for a long time....

I am learning that this is a good lesson to keep learning...

Remembering... every lick,touch, taste, kiss....
*restless as feelings wash over me*
Faint blush on cheeks...
 Craving, wanting, waiting for it will happen again...

Tangled up.....

Interwoven, entangled, inseparable? Or can you delineate, draw boxes around them? Seems some can. For some it is indeed pure power exchange, for others straight up no nonsense SM.

I've thought about this a lot. Well, you know, it's a nice topic to think about while you travel home after having a deep discussion in the early hours..Weigh it up, what would you choose if you had to choose one thing?…. I can't do it. I want it all. I'm greedy. Sex, Ds and SM. Intricately threaded together like a multi coloured tapestry. Wrap it round my body and flood my mind with it. Drown me in it.

The pleasure of SM, the thrill of pain, is enhanced by the knowledge someone is controlling me. Even while they inflict some deviant tool on me, knowing I love it, knowing I hate it, knowing I need it, the extent of pain, too light, too heavy, is out of my control. I enjoy the game as much as the pain. The not knowing, the submission to the strokes, the acceptance and lack of battle with the sex weapon wielder. Plenty of battle with the pain, but submission to the act. There lies the excitement. The control lies elsewhere, power is exchanged, as pain is applied. The thrill of submission, physical and mental.

The release of Ds, give up all tensions, slip away from the day, have someone strong to guide and nudge. Find freedom in control. A rock that supports, arms that cherish, a mind that directs. Boundaries you understand, clarity and honesty. Give and take to the nth degree. Emphasised by submission to pain play. To know the hand that cherishes will be stern too, severe and sadistic. To know the mind that adores you will be demanding and strict, give no inch. The physical intimacy of sexual pleasure with a person you desire. Links it all. Ds till your toes curl and SM full of joy and laughter.

Can I pull out a thread without the whole un ravelling? I'm greedy, greedy, greedy. Don't get me wrong, I find joy in each strand. Pleasure in sex, pleasure in being guided and mentored, pleasure in SM play. Fun and laughter all the way. But when you throw it in all together, the right mix, ah that's icing on the cake.

But I know what I want. And if I can't have it? Well there's always chocolate and coffee…. I know, so much excitement, how do I contain myself? *chuckles happily*

One for Him and One for Her :)

The rest of you get to enjoy the words :)

For Him:

Sin. 

If you were chocolate, I would eat you.

I would let you feel my tongue, naughty and rough, running up and down your length, enjoying your bittersweet taste.

I would wrap my mouth around your heat and drown in your depths, taking all of you inside me.

And when you’re ready, I would swallow.

I would taste every last drop of your thick, sticky syrup.

And gods, I am starving.


For Her:

Desire. 

Her mouth drew my gaze as I watched her speak, watched the quick, pink tongue swipe over her bottom lip. The air between us grew heavy with want, with expectation and desire.Our bodies leaned in, toward the other. I can smell her - a bit of perfume, her shampoo, beneath that, her skin. I swallow my desire to reach out and lick up the line of her neck, taking in her taste.

Her fingertips trace up my arm as we talk. A casual touch that leaves goose flesh in its wake. Her nipples are hard, pressing against the front of the tee shirt she's wearing. I see the pulse beat at the sweet hollow of flesh at her throat.

Warning... TMI for some.. It's about self harm...

I have been looking through old journals and came across this..
This was my mind set, quite a few years ago, a lot has changed and so have I, but I though it might be wise to share...



She feels safe here. Safer here than anywhere else. Because Outside… Outside there’s uncertainty. There’s danger, and risk, and instability. She never knows what’s going to happen Outside. But here… here, in this white-tiled haven, she’s got everything she needs.

The people Outside– they think she’s so strong. And she is. She speaks with a purpose, moves with precision. She never lets anything faze her. They just don’t know. They don’t know how much stronger she can be when she is here.

She sits here for hours. Here, she’s an artist, and her body is her canvas.

She pens her story in maudlin simplicity. She writes angrily in lurid strokes on her arms, watching in fascination as her drama comes to life. Her handwriting makes serrations on her broken flesh, her words creating her gory setting. She craves the control. She delights in the coloured strength she coaxes out, the darkness she creates. Her brush dips into puddles of liquid glory, and she gently draws them into sorrowful streams. And it hurts– it hurts like hell, but she knows what she’s doing.

It isn’t long before her weakness spills forth, and she lets it. She cries, and as she cries, her tears roll off her cheeks, turning blood red as it touches her skin. She quiets, and her tears hum their own melody. And when it’s over, she smiles.

Jigsaw...

My life is -- to put it mildly -- complicated. This journal is my sanctuary, my special place. When I'm down, I write here. When I'm happy, I write here. When I'm stressed, I write here.

Sometimes I cannot find my voice, and I cannot post. These days are the worst as I walk around with the weight of the world upon my shoulders. And then something will happen -- a comment from a friend, whether they think I'm going to like it or not or an email, a text a picture or a whole bunch, or I'll read a post by someone else -- and that's all it takes. A shift, two or three small paces to the left; and I'm back in the room.

The comments I receive from you people hearten me. Your support of me as a person. I shouldn't need validation -- in theory, we none of us do. We "write for ourselves". We "don't need validation". How many times have I written or read those words, pertaining to me or to someone else in this community? Dozens, perhaps hundreds. But the truth is that you help strengthen me by reading. I do not ask you to condone or condemn my life choices. Just read me.

I bare my soul to you. I have been doing so since I started writing here. I have made choices in my life that have surprised even me; I'm not an amoral person, and yet I transgress certain moral boundaries that from an external perspective I once found abhorrent. On one level, I am ashamed of my transgression. On another, it fits into my mad, bad, complicated life like everything else. I perceive it as a multi-piece, highly complex jigsaw... but I'm still missing some pieces. And people like you also help me to find missing pieces too...

And through writing here, I seem to find these pieces, one at a time. Mother, lover, friend, support. Sometimes they are blurred but I still have many more to go. Some pieces are being hidden from me deliberately. Some are just out of reach. Of some I am not even yet aware. Eventually, one day, I'll find them all.

Her....

In her arms I'm arched back, my hair a black spill on the mattress around my head. Her lips touch the line of my neck, hands sure at the small of my back.

It's good here with her.

We match. Strong desire heats......

Rope....

Winding around her body, the bite of the rope into her flesh is sharp. Enough to remind her of who is in charge.

Her breath started quick, shallow, slightly alarmed at the sight of that coil in his hands. Now she breathes slow and deep. Rhythmic, her lungs expand, fill and muscles push out air. Over and over.

Lips slightly parted, eyes halfway closed, her fingers intertwine but loosely so. Her muscles are relaxed. And later this will puzzle her. That being wrapped in rope so tight will bring her lax and warm muscles and a state of tranquility.

For now, she lets it roll through her.

This rope space.

*sighs* Trying to stop the washing machine that is my head....

The great thing about fantasy is that you are free to think about anything you want and none of your other emotions get involved. Of course this at times can be a draw back too because sometimes you just don’t know how you will feel until you live it or you think that you wont feel bad because it feels so good in the fantasy.

Sexual fantasies are great because they are pure sex and all those other feelings that often can hold one back sexually are freed in the fantasy. When one is sexually aroused they are often in a non- rational state of mind. It is similar to being drunk or high. It is its own high. It’s hard to think clearly when in that state. I know my own state of horniess has many times led me and my rational side has been no where to be found. Now I wonder does the fantasy state where your other emotions are almost hidden from you come about because of the arousal or is that just from the fantasy state??

Analysing self...

Is never the easiest thing in the word to do. But I am starting to figure out things and why I reach the way that I do. Talking yesterday, I found a whole load of things that I had previously thought was my problem, until I realised that I was reacting to situations that had arisen for the other person in this relationship. That is C. I am not saying that everything is his fault but there are things that would probably be a lot different if I had not had to do what I needed to do with him.I need to be about three steps if not more ahead of him, cos being the impulsive creature that he is, it can lead to all sorts happening. It's also a lot to do with the depression as well. He doesn't like himself very much as a person, and the latest g/f has done such a number on him that he doesn't know which way is up atm.

Examples:

NRE: all encompassing so that the primary partner ie: me is left out. Concentrates solely on new shiny, talks all day all night to them, texts constantly if not emailing, msn etc. Talks about them all the time, and generally making you feel like you are just a bystander in the relationship. Even if you have the same partner in common. Although admittedly nearly all were interested in him rather than us.

Relationships: as with the NRE. He will travel, he will put himself out and he will make every effort for them to be available to go to events or just to be around for them, when they need it, sometimes regardless of what's going on with me. When he is with them there are no phone calls, no texts etc, if there are any they were will be brief, sometimes over effusive if he's not texted for hours. He has expected me to be awake at stupid o'clock when he's got in from somewhere, which soon got knocked on head.

Relationships plus: If we are seeing the same person, if he has a couple of off days and can't be arsed. Then the other person will come to me, to either ask how he's doing then have I done anything wrong and down it will spiral, until they see me as nothing more than a sounding board for their complaints about him. Whatever tenuous relations I had with them have gone out of the window cos they want to complain and bitch about him. As much as I try to sort it, it isn't happening fast enough for them etc. I can't always fix things I do try to explain but doesn't always sink in :(

Sex: Non existent at the moment. I have been replaced by porn and flirting. The only time it ever happens is when he is in the mood, that's normally after flirting with people online or that he's in the mood and I am the only one around. I have been other women's names before now. I have ignored it but it's stuck at the back of my mind. When it does happen it's not fun for me and it's over before I know it, there has been more occasions than not I have felt used, and not in a good way. He almost seems to breathe a sigh of relief if I get involved with someone else.

Yes, ok sometimes hard and fast is good when you are both in the mood, but it's always like that now. I love long slow sensual playing as well as the bite me snogging fizz bang 'Gods I need you now'. While I have never believed sex is the be all and end all for relationships.. I think it helps a lot if there is a good sprinkling of it.. :) What am I talking about a good lot or as much as you can manage is  good. Heck is bloody brilliant..

So yes he's not a bad person and I would like the relationship to carry on but I think that I will have to face facts, that may not happen. He is not moving out cos the relationship has ended, he is moving out to give it a fighting chance. Cos I need my own space and for that matter so does he. I also have Mc to think about and how his depression affects her. It's not just me that has seen it now and that to be fair is a bit of a relief. He does sometimes take it as a joke or retreats into himself.. He will not knowing sometimes make me feel as if it is my fault that it's the way it is. Screaming rows don't happen, me losing temper does with C running away. It's not working :(

Do they....

realise that most of my writings  from that part of my imagination that's been fueled by one person. Make that two now. Mind you I think they know it by now. *chuckles* if they don't I may have read things wrong.
I am not a nympho or a sex addict. I do however have a very good libido when it gets going. At the moment it's simmering away, bubbling constantly. It takes very little to get it to almost boiling lava atm. There are a few times I have pondered just going into the room and snogging them awake, *chuckles*.But am not that brave due to the niggling fear of rejection, plus it's a work day. See *grins* I can fully justify it. I can't help it if I am dating two people that are very addictive in their own right & together, well I can't imagine not being with them.
Distance & time makes a difference & I know in my head that both together & separately both will make time for me. And I love that, I also want to drag ( although seriously doubt there will be dragging) them both away to a room & show them how much they affect me & how. Mostly because with words I can tell them. With actions, takes it to a whole other level.. And sometimes that's what is needed for me anyway.. I am still a cynic and romantic (go figure...) so while words may woo me, actions will prove it to even to my most cynical self..
Although now I know that I can drag people away to have some time.. * chuckles* I shall be bloody well doing that. I like having the frisson of unfulfilled passion but arggh it frustrates me like nothing else can...  it's that time shortly after the all that passion & desire has been spent & you are exhausted, panting, sweaty & grinning like loons, that the world is sharply in focus & all everything is right with it. It can be like that after a good snogging/ petting session but just sometimes it is just all about the sex.

Tis a brain dump...

Now figured out why I get so wobbly with other b/f's when they find new partners. It's not jealousy or envy, it's almost like mourning for something that has been lost within my primary relationship.. And while I have that back in small batches, it leaves as soon as the person who provides it leaves. And while there is another who says he loves me. There is no continuation of what I had then so I feel unbalanced and somewhat lost. I feel as giddy & unsure as an hormonally infused teenager.. which I absolutely love... but then I have all the wibbles that have been gained over the number of years since I have been a teenager..

It's wanting to be treated like that a lot more. And when others get that from the same person, it's almost like you are preparing to have lose it, to not have it there, to have it lessened in someway. Then there is no logic to the feeling of meh, when they say oh going to do this or seeing that or whatever logically it's something that will happen & you live so much further away, miles away. Some of it is cos I have been spoilt by having the attention, so you don't want to lose it so because all I know is previous history, I revert to that..

It's not logical nor is it any help when your logical part knows that this emotional garbage is really not helping. Being safe,secure in a relationship is something that I have had very little of. Something has normally had to be sacrificed & compromises made so that I would fit in. I have had to deal with others behaviour that has led me to be uncomfortable but when it was raised as an issue it was my problem, I should just deal with it as it's all in my head. I never had conselling  for the abuse (both sexual & mental) that I got from the ex husband and I think I can see where a lot of the defense wibbles come from as well as recent with W.

Which has led to where I am now. I am struggling with the fact I can say what I feel. That I can ask for things. I still can't do point out when I think things are unfair/unbalanced, that is still a major hurdle atm. It's much to do with the sense of fairness kicking in. Plus don't want to be the one that causes problems. It's probably not being unequal my head says but heart says something else.. And that can cause more conflict in my head. They've said, commented that does that mean that I am not as good, not good enough company.. & it spirals down & down.  Being selfish or wanting more causes me dilema. That sets,off thewhole needy cycle. Not being needy/clingy but rather being very aware of where it might go.

You know you can text or prod via im etc but you talk yourself out of it saying that they are busy other people need their time as much as you.. and really it's being daft, silly to voice concerns that a woman of my age has..


I need to give myself permission to be who I want to be rather than who I am supposed to be. If you were to ask me who is Kira, then I would have to reply I don't know. Kira has been many things to many people. Wife, mother, friend, lover, punchbag, servant, lodger. So I have what people expect of me but very little of who I am. So when asked what I want... I don't know. I know what I would like but it's the being worried that people will say no, or will say well I don't want to go/be/attend with you would rather with 'insert name '. Again past experiences have taught & reinforced this. So maybe I expect things to go wrong, and then are floored when they don't you know there is a solid floor but you can't see it., you have no bearings no compass and no way of dealing with things.

Things need to relearned but I hope that I have people that love me enough to make that possible. I guess I need people to reassure that I will get as much as everyone else. That even if there are new shiney that I won't be forgotten about. And to a point I let it I will back off and let them have time but sometimes that does tend to backfire on me. But for the sake of my sanity I need to assert myself & my wants, not to the detrimental to others but still that I am heard.


I have been like this, I am like this and I hope that I can change this too.

NSFW....NSFW...NSFW..... Visit part three....NSFW.....NSFW......NSFW

And I give it to you. Three more times I bring the tails of the flogger down over your nipples until your breath is heaving and your eyes are growing leaden.

Backing up I sit on my heels. "Up. Kneel with your hands at your back."

There is no hesitation in your obedience. I like it even more as I begin to bind you with the crimson rope and I see the contrast between the rough texture and your skin, smooth and creamy. You make soft sounds as it digs into your flesh.

I take my time. Just you and me and our breathing. Your muscles are loose from the massage and I watch as a flush breaks over you from desire and binding.

"Whatever shall I do to you now?" I murmur in your ear as I finish. Your torso is bound, arms at your back,  "Clamps? You're ever so fond of teasing me about them."

I move off the bed and pull you back, so you're standing. I pick up the paddle and run it down over your haunches and deliver several hard smacks to warm you up.

"Such a pretty shade," I say softly before I give you several more.

You're writhing against the coverlet. I lean in and whisper, "More?"

Your "yes" is gasped and sends shivers down my spine. Leaning over your body, the fire on your ass and thighs is hot against my cool skin. I lay kisses down your spine.

I untie you slowly, stroking over the rope marks in your flesh, kissing them. Your gasp is surprised and then desire laden.

"Didn't expect that, did you?"

Laying back I smile. "My turn."

NSFW....NSFW...NSFW..... Visit part two....NSFW.....NSFW......NSFW

The air thickens as things change, move to another level. I wait to see what you'll do. Whether you roll over or not, whether you submit.

And you do. You roll over and look up into my face, lips slightly parted, pupils wide with expectation.
 The oil makes the friction as your nipples, hard, slide through my fingers. Your breath catches in your throat and I feel hands move up my thighs a bit hesitant at first and then more bold.

Moving up, I straddle your body. My hair slides down and curtains our faces. It's just the two of us.
I reach down and pull the flogger, a coil of rope and a paddle from the floor below. They're in your view and I raise an eyebrow in your direction."Let's see if you're as tough as all that talk, shall we?"
That flash of fear and then excitement I see in your eyes makes me wet and I can't help but smile at you, catching my lip between my teeth.

Oh how you talk tough! I trail the tails of the flogger over your nipples and watch them harden.. Watch your flesh break out in shivers. A flick of my wrist brings a sharp bite of leather against that sensitive skin.

A gasp breaks from your lips but you arch, wanting more.

NSFW....NSFW...NSFW..... Visit part one....NSFW.....NSFW......NSFW

What would I do if I had them alone in my house for 24 hours I was asked. I grinned and said I'd write it here.......

I'd like to think it would be soft and slow, but maybe not. Maybe once you walked in my front door you'd find yourself against it, my body pressing against yours, eyes locked until my lips found that frantic pulse beat at the place just below your ear.

My hands would touch you, slide over your skin, up and under your shirt. You're soft and warm as you reach to touch me in turn.

Lips find lips. The kiss starts slow and burns deep. Stepping back I smile and invite you in, delighting in the desire hungry look on your face.

I hold my hand out and you take it as I lead you into the house and get you a drink. Talk then. Casual touches burn slow.

Until I tell you to go lay down. After you take your clothes off.

I come in and see you there, naked. Moving to you, I put down the warmed oil and lean in, letting my hair drag over your bare back. I press a kiss at the base of your neck before pouring the oil down your spine.

Slowly, my hands work into the muscles of your back. Up and over in a rhythm and I can feel you relax. The scent of exotic oils rises from your flesh.

Leaning down, my lips touch your ear. "Turn over."

Need...

I need you.

Those three words are to me as intoxicating as the other three.
There is, of course, pain involved in needing someone, in the feeling of lacking completion without them. But it is a different kind of pain, one far easier to endure knowing that it can be remedied. So now I seek out a cure for my pain, I plan, I ponder, the best way to broach the subject with you. I discuss it with my K, my friend, my sister, she knows the pain in my heart better than any other.

Right now the need I have is more basic, more animalistic. I need to fuck, to be fucked. As much as I crave your affection. Gods right now I would give all of them up to be in your arms. For that instinct we seem to share to kick in, for desire to get the better of us.

I need you...