Slowly coming out of the darkness....
It is always an enlightening thing, to step back away from yourself to analyze what makes you who you are.
You hear bits and pieces of how others perceive you, and you have a perception of yourself, often the two do not match up.
I have heard myself described by others as "wild". I don't think that is correct. I have done some wild things, but, I don't think I am wild. I would think the description would be more accurate as adventurous. I have a good sense of adventure, willing to try just about anything at least once.
When confronted with a new situation, I do not fear the unknown. In fact, I embrace the unknown, anxious to experience something new.
I don't have a problem moving on in life, stepping away from the familiar, parting the overgrown brush and entering uncharted territory. That carefully planned, precisely landscaped yard with flowers planted all in a pretty row is monotonous and boring in my eyes for very long. Give me the wild, overgrown, untamed! I may not be wild myself, but I am excited to the wildside and explore.
I am determined. Presented with a problem, or something I don't grasp, I will work on it until it is solved. I like to understand what lies before me. I will charge head first into it wrestling it to the ground, simply to know what it is that sits before me. I am resourceful, surrounding myself with books, Internet, information in any source. There is so much to know, so much to learn, so much to experience, how could a person possibly ever get bored in this lifetime?
Along with those character descriptions walk side effects.Shyness for one thing, lacking in self confidence another.Things I have dealt with my entire life. As I get older, I learn to work around it, but it still stares me in the face. There is another....
I absolutely thrive on the "new", the unknown, the project unplanned, the problem unsolved, that once I solve it, conquer the challenge, plan the project, I'll move on. If the project is an ever evolving one, new challenges, new territory then I can stick with it. If that person is multi faceted, open minded and willing to embrace life with a passionate energy, then I will remain stimulated. It is the mundane, the stagnant that I choose to walk from.
At times it is a character flaw. Other times it is beneficial. Always, it is me, always it is prevalent.
I am not easily impressed by material possessions signifying a person's "place" in life. This says nothing to me except for the fact that they have money to spend.
Where's your passion? Why IS that your passion? What is the motive for your passions? An inner feeding of the soul, or for an image you want to project. I love passionate people. Breathing in their strong energy, allowing the surge of my own when mixed with theirs, and projecting it back to them. This energy exchange with passionate people, merely wanting to share, not steal the other's energy, it is like none other.
Passion within myself along with the passion within others is wonderful. That is what I look at.
I was given the foundation at a very young age by my mum, of self confidence. She constantly reminded me that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. With simple perseverance and determination, willingness to open your mind to new knowledge and ideas, and making adjustments as needed, just about anything can be accomplished. I had forgotten that lesson for a long time....
I am learning that this is a good lesson to keep learning...
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